“Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” Quote from the actress, Judy Garland

I had just turned five years old when my parents purchased their first television set in the 1950s. I remember sitting in front of the TV set, singing the Mouseketeer theme song, with Jimmie and the Mouseketeer’s. Everyone had their favorite Mouseketeer, mine was Annette Funicello. To me, she embodied quiet strength. On the show she seemed to glide rather than walk. I learned she wanted to be a ballet dancer, and was discovered by Walt Disney. I started taking ballet lessons and envisioned myself dancing like Annette. The qualities I admired in her were; her calmness, she spoke slowly and everyone listened, and her hair! As she aged her thick black hair became, as we called it in the 70s, a “hair helmet”. It must of been at least 2 inches above her head, and there was never a hair out of place. In her teens she became a pop singer and starred in movies. To this day I still enjoy hearing her sing “Pineapple Princess”, “Tell Paul”, “Train of Love”, “Dream Boy” and all the dance numbers like “Do the Glide”. She was adorable and I wished I could act and look like her.

When I was in the eighth grade, 1965, our class was studying, “The Great Chicago Fire”. This is when I discovered Bertha Matilde Honoré Palmer. I became infatuated with her and her amazing life. She married the wealthiest man at this time in Chicago, Potter Palmer, who was twenty-three years her senior. Bertha became “The Queen” of Chicago Society. She could have just stayed home, traveled, and shopped. But NO! She became a philanthropist, helping the poor in Chicago. She hosted many functions in her castle on Lake Shore Drive, and traveled the world. She developed the Brownie for the Columbian World Exhibition of 1893, where she was the president of the lady managers. She was in charge of developing, building, designing and planning the exhibits of the Women’s Building. As I learned about her I dreamed of becoming a woman of independent means. I wanted people to turn to me to make important decisions. Bertha was a woman who spoke softly but with authority. I imagine her walking the streets of Chicago after the fire, and understanding what was needed to done. “Organized”, I believe would be the best word to describe her, and I set out to be organized too.

When I started high school in 1969 the Vietnam war was raging. Jane Fonda caught my attention. She spent much of the 70s transitioning from a film star to a vocal political activist, showing me that a woman could use platforms to stand up against the government or social norms. Jane Fonda embodied the “activist spirit” that defined the decade. She was a revolutionary at a time when it seemed to me no one was stepping up. Then in 1982, she reinvented herself by producing and stared in the first home exercise video tapes. Which, I tried to do at least 3 times a week. The tapes didn’t work, so I joined a health club.

In the late 1970s my role model was Billy Jean King. Billie Jean was a Grand Slam tennis player. In 1973, she defeated Bobby Riggs in the “Battle of the Sexes” tennis match. For me this was a turning point, I saw that woman could be as good as men in sports. And I started playing tennis and thought that one day I might be a star athlete too.

I had two young children in 1980, and my role model at this time was Clair Huxtable, from the Cosby Show. Clair was a successful lawyer who was balancing family and a career. She had a quite maternal flair and a strong presence that didn’t take disrespect from anyone. She was glamorous, her hair was always perfect and her outfits were designer. The most amazing attribute for me was she had time to be in the kitchen helping her kids with their homework. She was a “super mom” at a time when I wanted to learn how to become one.

In 1993 at President Clinton’s first inauguration, I heard Maya Angelou speak. Her cadence and message were spellbinding. I learned she was a towering figure in literature and civil rights. I immediately purchased her first book “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.” The story was honest about racism, trauma and finding her voice. I wanted to have her strength and conviction. And especially her strong musical slow voice.

In 2000 the series Sex and the City hit the air. Sarah Jessica Parker became my “urban independent role model”. She had female friendships and a carefree personal style. I loved how thin she was and all the strange clothes she wore. It was fun to glimpse into her life as a single girl living in New York. She was a journalist. At the beginning and end of the programs, I would hear her voice as she sat at her computer and wrote her column. Many of her thoughts were things I was thinking of as well. I found this show to be an intimate observation of a life that I knew I would never have.

My husband and I moved to Puerto Rico in 2010, which is when I learned about Doña Fela. A woman who gave everything to the people of San Juan. She became a legend for me, on how selfless a woman in power can be. She overcame male dominance and was able to start programs to help the poor. When I think of Doña Fela, her smile comes to my mind. There was a warmth about her that drew people to her.

We purchased a farm in 2020 and Martha Stewart became a woman I looked up to. I’m trying to envision how Martha would lay out our farm. I watched her most recent documentary where she was walking through her groves and talking into her phone sending messages about things she wanted changed. I found this very comforting because as a new farmer, I am learning about the best locations for different vegetation. Therefore, I am moving my plants all the time. But, now I have learned to just plant in pots and move them around rather than transplant whole boxes. I feel Martha would be proud of me. She is a woman who forged her own success, not with a loud voice but by action. She has evolved through her decades, much as I have been.

As I have reflected on my decades of watching women, I see a theme emerging. I admire women who use their voice to help change society. I think of Theodore Roosevelt’s quote “Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.” I feel all these women understood that negotiation, diplomacy, and restraint and tenacity were their most powerful tools.

Reflecting back, I feel I learned that indecision costs more than a wrong choice. Choose, act and live without the weight of the “What if”. The women I had as role models lived in the moment and rose to each opportunity. They didn’t avoid decisions, they moved forward. Because of that , they left an everlasting impression on me.

If you enjoyed this blog, please let me know what woman in your life has played a significant role.

My next post will be about my Bernie doodle, Quinn and how doodles were created.

Women Who Have Inspired Me through my decades

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” Quote from the actress, Judy Garland

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