From Nods to Hugs
“What I’ve realized is that the joy of meeting and greeting people from all around the world is universal.” quote of Joe Gebbia (co-founder of Airbnb)
Growing up in the Chicago, I found greetings to be straightforward and reserved. A simple hello, maybe a nod or a handshake. If it was a formal occasion, really nothing more. The cold climate seemed to dictate a no-nonsense approach to interactions – get in , say hello, and move on. Fast forward, I am now living in Puerto Rico and the contrast is striking. Here, physical affections are woven into everyday interactions, with hugs and kisses being a common way to greet both friends and acquaintances. Living in Old San Juan, a vibrant cosmopolitan community, I’m learning that greetings serve as a reflection of cultural values and social norms, which can vary significantly across different societies.
My first exposure to this custom of Puertorican greetings happened on my first day, when I met Sonia, my neighbor. I put my hand out to shake hers and she pulled me in for a hug and a kiss on my cheek! I recall I didn’t understand what was happening. Her behavior took me off guard. But, I soon learned that in Puerto Rico this was the norm. Their greetings are physical, loud and full of cariño. Even people I didn’t know well kissed me and called me “my love”.
My husband and I realized we needed to learn Spanish. While walking the streets of Old San Juan we saw a sign, French, English, and Spanish taught here. Monica, who became our Spanish teacher, was French. She greeted us with a kiss on both cheeks known as “Fairer la Bise”.
We had purchased a first floor apartment in Old San Juan. On the third floor lived a man from England. He greeted us with shinning blue eyes and said “Hello, hello” with a nod of his head. Sometimes he raised an invisible glass and said “Cheers.” He was unfailingly polite.
A few of the stores in Old San Juan are owned by people from India. When I entered their stores they would greet me with a gesture called “Namaste” as they press their hands together and bow their heads. Namaste roughly translates to “I bow to you” or ” The divine in me bows to the divine in you”. Some of my Indian friends are Muslim. They always greet me by saying “As-salamu alaykum” which translates to “Peace be upon you.”
On Saturday mornings we’d visit the organic farmers market, where we met a lovely couple. She was from Russia and would greet us with a nod of her head, no smiling. Her husband, who grew up in the States, but is originally from Korea, would say hello by bowing his head. No words.
On Tuesday nights Russ and I enjoy eating at a Chinese restaurant where our server, who was from China, always greets us warmly with a smile and slightly bowed head, saying “nihao” which means hello.
We don’t have our mail delivered to our house, instead we have a post office box. When I walk to the post office I see my Nigerian friend, Nnamdi. He is always on the corner selling purses and sunglasses. He greets me in his native language of Hausa, I respond with “Buen Dia”.
We thought about joining a Jewish Temple, and visited the two that are located near our house. The Jewish Community here is basically from Cuba. Cubans, are very warm and like to hug and kiss. They all seem so grateful to be out of Cuba, and they all like to share their stories of how they escaped. I find this phenomena to be the most interesting. Because every Cuban we have meet swings right into their utopian life pre-Castro.
Below is a short list of how other cultures greet each other.
The Maasai People of East Africa greet each other by jumping up and down or stretching. And the warriors might spit on each other as a sign of respect and blessings.
In Tibetan culture, people often greet each other by sticking out their tongues, which is seen as a sign of respect and friendship.This tradition began in the 9th century when a cruel king named Lang Darma had a black tongue. The monks would stick out their tongues to show they were not reincarnations of Lang Darma and this became the traditional way to say hello.
Australian Indigenous cultures people share a breath or touch each other’s shoulders as a way of greeting.
The Inuit have a traditional greeting where they rub their noses together know as a “kunitk” or “nose kiss”.
In New Zealand the indigenous, Mãori people, press their foreheads and noses together known as “Hongi”. They call this sharing of breath, is an intimate greeting, not shared with strangers.
In Zimbabwe and Mozambique people clap their hands, the first person claps once and the second claps twice.
Each culture has its own unique customs and practices and what might seem strange or uncomfortable to outsiders, can hold deep meaning and significance for those who observe them. As I learn about different greetings, I’m realizing how they can intertwine cultures. By embracing these differences, we can break down stigmas and fears, fostering greater empathy and connection with people from diverse backgrounds and perhaps conquer prejudices.