Figuring Things Out As I Go
“Reflective thinking turns experience into insights” quote from John Maxwell, an American author and orator
At one of my grammar school reunions, a newsletter was created highlighting milestones. This year, one entry stood out – a note about how we are all approaching 75 years old and to be prepared because many of the coming updates would be about classmates passing away. That stuck with me, but it wasn’t until recently, with an acquaintance’s illness, that the reality of those words really hit home. As I’ve grown older, I am facing the reality of my own mortality. I have become increasingly reflective on life’s experiences. This introspection has brought both a sense of nostalgia and a confrontation with the impermanence of life.
Every experience, every conversation, seems to spark a memory from my past. I find myself reliving moments from my childhood, family get-togethers, and my children’s milestones. It’s as though I’m not just remembering my stories, but now I’m seeing my own stories unfold all over again. The sights, sounds, even smells come flooding back. I’m transported to another time, feeling compelled to share the memory with whoever triggered it.
I seem to always begin my short memories with the phrase: “Cuándo era niña,” or when I was young girl. For longer memories, I launch into, “Let me tell you a story”. Over time, I’ve become choosy about who I share my memories with. I find it ironic that strangers often connect with my experiences more than those close to me. I have a caveat to add – as my words leave my lips, I sometimes wonder who’s really speaking.
I have a curious mind and ask many pointed questions, (I have been told.) My thought is why wait to have experiences play out? Why not find out who I am speaking to right away. Because of my nature I have been called “The Inquisitor” or I have been asked if I was a “journalist.” I just want to cut through the small talk and discuss bigger issues. However, my personality has labeled me and not always in a good way. I have always found it tiring to be with groups of people who do not ask questions. How can you have a conversation? Too much dead space in the air is super uncomfortable.
So what have I “Figured Out”? I now understand that as a whole, people just get older. How we react to life’s confrontations , for the most part, does not change. There is a book called “All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten” by Robert Fulghum. His book explores life’s lessons through the lens of kindergarten teachings, like sharing, being kind and cleaning up after yourself. And I would add peer groups are very important. This makes me recall a Spanish proverb; “Tell me who you walk with, and I’ll tell you who you are.” Another famous proverb is; “A man is known by the company he keeps.” I feel this as the most important element in how you can learn about life and your place in it.
As I reflect on my life, surrounded by family, friends, acquaintances, and business relations, I’m struck by the duality of luck and hardship. Born in the 1950s, I was raised with a predetermined path. My role was to stay quiet. My voice was suppressed, muffled by expectations, leaving me feeling voiceless. Without the chance to learn how to express myself, I struggled to find my footing. I was unsure of how to articulate my thoughts and to express myself.
My husband’s unwavering faith in me was a turning point. He encouraged me to pursue education. With each step, I found my voice. Learning to choose my words carefully has been empowering. I’ve seen firsthand how speech can shift perspectives, earn respect, and open doors.
Maya Angelou, has been a role model for me. I love the meter of her voice and the impact of her thoughts. For me she represents the image of a “wise woman”, with her ability to inspire generations with her storytelling, wisdom and inner strength.
Because of her I have started this blog. I want to tell my readers what I have learned and seen through my life’s stories. Empathy, for other people’s experiences has shown me that everyone lives through much of the same issues on earth school. The only difference is how we react to the problems we have been dealt. As I ruminate on my memories, I’m grateful for the opportunity to be able to piece them together and share my insights with whomever wants to read them.
My next blog: My Quest to become BRILLIANT