Yes, I believe in Love at First Site!
“I wanted to write about love at first sight because I fell in love at first sight.” - Quote of Ol Parker, an English writer and director.
Hallee and Russ wedding picture 1972
Growing up in a Jewish suburb of Chicago in the 50s-60s was a cultural waste land. My parents, who grew up in the ghetto’s of Chicago’s south side, didn’t take time to learn about finer things in life either. My parents never went out to restaurants, movies, sporting events, theater, concerts, or museums. They were working hard to survive. Every night at six o’clock on the dot, my father would return home from his first love, The Uniform Company. In anticipation of dinner my brother and I would be seated at the dinner table. My brother would be reading, I would be staring at the television set, our mother smoked. She was a two pack a day girl. Once Dad was seated, he talked about his day. Mom never joined us at the table, she’d serve. Our dinners took fifteen minutes. During dinner, the only time we were all together, my brother and I were never asked about our day, nor did my family make plans to do anything together. I always thought this was the norm, until I learned from experiencing other families dinner conversations.
After dinner, Dad, got in his station wagon that he had filled with uniform deliveries to various suburban police departments. Mom, would go out with her girlfriends to play mahjong or canasta. My older brother, left as well, but I never knew where he went because he refused to speak to me. So, I was alone in our bi-level “Ticky tacky suburban house.”
What did I do? I watched television. There were no newspapers nor books in our house. Neither of my parents ever read or discussed politics. Their conversations centered on the Uniform Store and gossip about their friends and neighbors.
I realize now that I had never developed a world view. Therefore, when I reflect on my school experiences, I understand why school was difficult for me. I had no encouragement nor help from my parents. When I brought home my sad report card my dad would say to me “Don’t cry, I know you are not attractive like your mother and brother. But, that’s Ok, because your mother and I will always take care of you.” With that assurance, I felt safe. Because both my parents had deemed me dumb and ugly, why should I try to do anything? Not that I was aware there were things I could do.
When I graduated from High School, my parents, to save face, had to send me to college. All their friend’s children were going to higher education, and it would look bad in their social status if their daughter did not go as well.
I ended up at the University of Oklahoma. My high school habit of skipping class didn’t exactly fade away. Let’s just say homework, taking notes and writing papers were a foreign concept to me.
In my first year of college, I met Renee. She decided I was a perfect match for her high school boyfriend, Rusty. He called, we planned to meet in the dorm lobby at 6:30. When I stepped off the elevator I was scanning the lobby for a big, rusty haired football player. I thought this because he was from Tulsa, and every one I had meet in school from this state played football. Rusty, was looking for a petite girl, because I have a child like voice. But I had gained over 50 pounds my freshman year, therefore, I was heavy! Russ was standing behind a column, so thin, I didn’t see him. Renee soon appeared and asked me if I didn’t like Russ. When she pointed him out to me, he smiled. His eyes shinned, he looked safe and welcoming. I remember my mouth dropped. I was in love!! I fell in love with Russ the minute I saw him smile. Our first date was see the movie, “They Shoot Horses Don’t They?”.
Why was Rusty so thin? In 1970 the draft was reinstated. The government held a draft lottery on television. Their were balls with each day of the year printed on them. Then they were placed in a giant bingo drum and randomly selected. Each date was assigned a number and that’s how the government determined the order young men would be called. Russ’s number was forty-two. He decided to go on a diet, and he lost twenty-five pounds, to be considered unfit to serve. However, when he went in for the physical, the Sargent, at the evaluation center told him they would keep and feed him until he was the correct weight. When I met Russ his weight was one hundred-twenty pounds.
We bonded over dorm meals, swapping stories about our families. Rusty had one sister, and his parents were distant, like mine. But he had grandparents that took an interest in him and introduced him to history and culture. It was after the Jewish holiday called Passover where I consumed three hamburgers at lunch that he realized he loved me too.We married three years later, and this is when my life changed. Russ introduced me to culture, and food!
Because of Russ, I learned about the symphony, museums, ballet, opera, art, theater, and concerts. Being exposed to books and political ideas. When he cooked dinner he always surprised me with a vegetable other than canned peas and carrots or corn. He opened up a world for me that I never knew existed.
When our son graduated from high school we moved into the City of Chicago’s Northside. At this time Russ, worked at DePaul University, and I was able to complete my collage education. I graduated from DePaul University with high honors, my degree was comparative religion. I also became a member of the community orchestra at De Paul, playing third violin. After I graduated I donated my time to the Chicago Architectural Foundation and the Chicago Historical Society. Then I started writing news articles for our local community newspaper. Soon Russ and I wrote a book about my brother’s wife who embezzled money, calling it “Duped”. I was waking up!
When Russ retired we moved to Puerto Rico. I am still learning about its rich history, interesting customs, and holidays. I researched and wrote about the eight-four statues that grace the old city. Now when asked, I give statue tours. Puerto Rico has afforded me many opportunities. One of my favorites was to write a weekly column for an English language newspaper called “The Weekly Journal”. It lasted for two years until they ceased publication.
Another experience we had was when I learned the Opera “Carman” was going to be performed. It’s my favorite! I asked a friend who was on the Opera Board if the opera needed any extras. Wow! Russ and I were able to be extras in a major opera production. I was a flower women and Russ was a soldier. We learned a lot about the production and staging of an opera because we were apart of the production from the beginning attending rehearsals for 6 weeks.
Then to top everything we purchased a two and half acre (finca) farm in the mountains of Caguas. Farming is FUN! I have a new appreciation for farming. It is hard work, but worth it. I have experienced the growing, the care and the cultivation of various vegetables and fruits. Who would believe a young girl with no interests would be able to have so many fantastic life experiences!
And I owe it all to Renee, who introduced me to the love of my life, who opened up the world for me. So, not to be corny, some advice, whenever I meet a child who appears uninterested, I always tell them, “Everyone blooms in their own time!”