Perhaps I wasn’t clear

Cold Winter in Chicago

As I was rereading my first post “Why I moved to Puerto Rico”, I realized I seemed to have skip over the “Why”.

Interesting whenever I told my friends we were moving to Puerto Rico, their response was “Why Costa Rica?”

“No, I would explain. Puerto Rico! We are moving there because I can’t live in frigid Chicago, with all my bad memories. My memories were caused by my now deceased older brother, and cousins who I thought loved me.

When my mother became a vegetable, after having Thyroid surgery, which my brother the doctor/lawyer said she must have. Then my father’s dementia effected his ability to think clearly, so I became their full time caretaker. My role in our family dynamics was slave. I accepted my role much as my brother accepted his as “Prince”. However, my brother was fleecing our parents by telling them he was not making enough money as a doctor/lawyer. Therefore, before my mother had this ill fated surgery, she instructed me to send Scott, my brother, a check every month. With a note in the message bar. “I love you very much, from your Mother”

My brother Scott and his wife Elaine

But when they became unable to do anything for themselves, Scott’s lawyer, Ron , called me and told me not to send Scott money anymore. This enraged Scott and he took me to court for five years. His reason for the suit was I was spending too much money on our parents care. I was forced into a court ordered guardianship.

I always worked for my father. As a young girl I would go with him every Saturday to his Kale Uniform Store. My job was cashier, his breakfast and lunch partner, and singing partner as we drove home from the day.

Mom and Dad

My mother, was beautiful. She was tall, with a great body and the best legs. Her skin was clear, with sparkling green eyes. She was a Virgo, born at the end of August, which made her very critical. My father worshiped her. My job with my mother was to clean her closet weekly, and then send what clothes she didn’t want to her sister Sara Lee in Detroit, go to the grocery store and drive her where ever she wanted to go that day, and of course carry her bags. Remember , I was her slave.

At the age of twenty, I started paying all their bills. They lived in three homes and they liked to shop at Marshall’s and TJ Maxx for all the bargains. This alone was a full time job. I also took care of the two apartment buildings, and the three strip centers, where my father was a majority partner. My dad was generous with his family, including his brother, sister, and any cousin who wanted to invest. This is where my problem began. He never protected me.

When they both became unable to function on their own, I realized I must sell the properties. The apartment building in Skokie had a problem. I had hired a tuck pointer to work on the building. I had asked him for proof of his insurance before he started the work. But he started the work without telling me. One of his employees fell off the scaffolding and broke some bones and couldn’t walk. To tell you I had four years of sleepless nights about this lawsuit is an understatement.

Then, the strip center on Roosevelt Road., which, my father had included my mother’s cousin Eddie to invest in. When my cousin Eddie died the property went to her daughter Selma, when Selma died the property went to her three children. This became my biggest problem.

Jennifer, who I thought was my friend sided with my brother. She became authoritarian towards me. I had been the bookkeeper and property manager for this strip center for over twenty years. She was an out of work lawyer, telling me what to do. No, I couldn’t handle it. She made it really difficult to sell the property but by some miracle it sold and Scott’s lawyer, Ron told me I got more money for Roosevelt Road and Skokie, that he would have imagined. Funny, he was the only one who thanked me.

During this time, I had to go to court once a month with my lawyer, to prove that I was not taking money from my parents. I believe I spent a lot of money on Lawyers fee’s . In Oct. Ron asked my lawyers to see all the checks that I had paid to them to prove they were from my account not my parents account.

Ron said, “Can I take these checks to show Scott? You know he won’t believe me if I tell him.”

OK, this is just one of the upsetting statement’s that came out of the suit. I could recount at least forty more.

With the buildings sold, I retained money from Skokie because of the tuck pointer issue. At this time a. cousin’s husband started writing me cruel emails. Asking when I will release the rest of the funds.

I was sixty years old at the time. I was exhausted from taking care of two parents, making sure the caregivers were happy, going to court, dealing with cousins, and closing out the properties. Plus, our son and his wife just had a baby. I couldn’t enjoy our grandchild because of the stuff going on in my head.

I couldn’t wait to get out of Chicago.

So, when everything was cleared up we sold our apartment on Randolph and moved to the sunny Isla of Puerto Rico. Hoping, for a fresh start, and to leave all the bad memories behind.

Funny, I can’t leave the memories. They haunt me.