A Cautionary Tale

Our worst enemies: OUR RELATIVES!

Sibling rivalry, does it start in the mother’s womb? I believe in my case it did. My brother, Scott, was the first and only boy born to our small family unit. He was the perfect child, handsome, smart, and obedient. My mother doted on him, and so did all my aunts, uncles and cousins. When he went to school, he was always the star in anything he joined. He was my mother’s dream. I believe my father was not as smitten, but as a loving husband he gave in to all our mothers desires.

Four years after Scott appeared I was born. Yes, he hated me at birth. He could not bring himself to look at me, speak to me, or even listen to me when I tried to talk. He thought of names to call me, that he knew would upset me. And he had our mother on his side. I recall one spring day when my mother was taking Scott to a sports event, I was sitting in the back seat of the car. They were so busy laughing with each other they didn’t realize I had accidentally opened the car door and fell out. At least I think it was an accident, I may have been looking for a reaction of love from them. It didn’t happen.

Time moved on and Scott continued to excelled in everything. He became the eighth grade President and when he entered high school he made all the varsity teams he tried out for. He was the dream of the girls in high school, they were all after him. But he did not seem interested in any of them. Today, your mind would go to “He must be gay.” maybe he was. But I felt, he felt, he was too smart and too mature for high school. Interesting fact: He used to dress for school, wearing a tartan ascot, and sports coat. At some period in his high school career he developed an English accent. You would think his peers would call him out, saying he was strange, but no one did. They fawned on him even more.

When he graduated, he went to,Washington University in Saint Louis, MO. For his graduation gifts our parents gave him a car, a checking account with an endless supply of money, and paid the rent for his one bedroom apartment, he never liked to share. Scott, was never asked to get a job. No, he was simply meant to enjoy life and to prepare to become a doctor.

When he graduated the draft was waiting to take young men to Vietnam. My parents did not want this precious boy to go to war so he was sent to Graduate School in Milwaukee, WI. Our mother’s plan for him was to become a doctor, but his plan was to study animal behavior.

When he graduated from graduate school, he was still in jeopardy of being drafted. Our parents paid to get him into the Air National Guard, while they were investigating how to pay to get him into Medical School. They finally met their benefactor at a golf outing in Wisconsin. Scott, did not have to complete his basic training in Maine because Medical School began in August. They had successfully fulfilled their goal, to have their son become a doctor.

As a gift for going to Medical school they purchased for him a studio apartment in Old Town, and money to decorate the condominium. Another new car, and the never ending amount of money. Scott, never had to learn budget or to reconcile a bank statement, because he never needed to. Our dad always checked his account to make sure there were always funds available. Then our parents started their hunt to find him the perfect wife.

Every Saturday morning the hunt would begin. The day before, my mom would go to the beauty salon and Marshall Fields to buy a fresh outfit. During breakfast at the Ritz Carlton, they would lay out their strategy for the day’s hunt. They seem to frequent department stores and restaurants. They were on the look out for young, Jewish, beautiful girls. Education was not important, just looks!

And every Saturday night Scott would get the call: “We found her today! Shari, works at Bonwit’s, in the cosmetic department. She has the most flawless skin, it glows. Here is her number, we told her you would call tonight.”

And he did. But with each date, that was paid for by our parents, Scott would call the next day and tell them:

“No, I didn’t like her. She had very ugly toes.”

“No, she laughed too much.”

“No, her teeth are horrible.”

“No, she put her hand on her heart while I was playing the guitar, she is so effected.”

Our parents never gave up, they loved the hunt. Even our cousins were looking for him. It became a family game. And his responses became our family’s favorite dinner conversation.

Then it happened, while Scott was visiting our parents in Florida, he found Lennox. Lennox, as we learned in the story “Duped”, was not all she seemed to be. Scott had adventures with her and took our entire family on the ride. Now, all we ever spoke about when our families were together, were all the couple’s amazing experiences. This went on for eleven years, and even after she left him it goes on to this day. We are still speculating about where she is now and what really occurred. Because Scott would not speak against her.

To ease his life and pain, our parents purchased for him a British made car and another apartment, that was located across the street from the Lincoln Park Zoo. Oh yes, and an endless amount of money so he could decorate it. He found a decorator and transformed his loft apartment into an English style. Painting the walls a deep green, buying heavy English furniture, long tapestry curtains, paintings of fox hunts, and huge old portraits of royal people.

He continued his studies in medicine and soon received his license. Then our parents purchased for him a Medical practice. His life seemed set. However, our mother was very concerned about him, because he was so sad after Lennox left him. So to keep him busy, our mother decided he should go to back to school to obtain a Law degree.

Now that Scott was divorced the hunt was on again to find him a mate. This time our cousin, a talent agent, found him his next wife. She was also divorced, with no children, an actress, and beautiful. And I believe this is where my brother’s envy was fueled.

While Scott was enjoying his hay day with Lennox, I was never on his radar. When Lennox betrayed him, I tried to help him recover. But when he married his second wife, her desire to be rich ignited Scott’s past grievances towards me and he came at me with a vengeance.

Our father was showing signs of dementia and realized he needed to sell off parts of his empire. He began with one of his apartment buildings. I had managed this 40 unit building for twenty years, taking over management from my father’s Aunt Ann. The building was showing its age and my dad did not want to stop the distributions to his family to fix them, so he sold. When he sold he gave me a portion of his earnings. But none were given to Scott. When Scott learned about the sale he called me a crook. I tried to explain to Scott, that I really did not know I was going to receive anything. I never asked, and if he is so upset he should take it up with our father. He never did, I believe his wife was fueling his greed.

Then dad sold his biggest shopping center. His wife, was an investor, and all the investors received huge pay outs. My father, again gave me a portion of his earnings. This upset Scott’s wife to such an extent that she had to leave the meeting and almost pulled out her hair. I could feel her anguish and hate.

Now Scott started in on me.

“Mom, you pay Hallee too much for the management work she does for your buildings.”

“You’re right Scott! Do you need money?”, my mother asked him.” I will write you a check every month.”

And they did. Every month I wrote a check out to Scott from my parent’s account. And I was to write in the memo line. “Because we love you.”

But this wasn’t enough to stop his revenge. My brother wanted to have my children written out of our parents wills. And this was his salient point when he had his friend and attorney Ron Borstein, represent him with the intention of making my life difficult and ultimately to sue me.

Ron, started off by telling me my property management computer program wasn’t good. I had been using it for ten years and understood it. But, Scott’s wife, didn’t understand it so I had to change to the one she wanted. OK, no problem, I changed. But the program didn’t really work for the number of apartments I was working with. Next, Scott felt I needed to have my bookkeeping checked, so the accountants came to my apartment once a month to go over my books. I tried to accommodate Scott and his wife, yet I could never satisfy them. He told all the investors that I was too busy and didn’t have the time to do the work properly. I had been managing these properties for over forty years, and the building were all generating an income for all the investors.

In ten years our mother suffered from a stroke, a brain tumor and her finale a surgery for thyroid cancer that left her in a vegetable state. Meaning, she could not talk, walk, nor feed herself. Now Scott thought he had easier prey, a mother who could just look at you with sparkling evil eyes and a father who didn’t know what day it was, because he was suffering with dementia.

He and Ron started harassing me. Because I had always paid our parent’s bills, and taken care of their homes, Scott wanted in on the action. Scott and his wife through Ron accused me of spending too much money on their care. He went to their apartment one Sunday and told our mother, because our father was living in his own dream, that I was stealing all their money and that there may not be enough left to keep them comfortable. Then Scott’s wife took my mother’s hand and had her sign a document. This document change their wills adding Scott’s wife. Our caregiver, Billy, called me crying.

“Hallee, your brother and his wife just left. Your mother is very upset. They told her you were stealing their money. Scott’s wife had me sign a document, but I don’t know what I signed.”

The next day I had the bank representative and the accountant go to their apartment to assure my mother I was doing nothing wrong.

At this point my cousin Moe told me to hire a lawyer.

“Hallee, you can’t let Scott harass you. You need an advocate to protect your parents and I can recommend the perfect lawyer. His name is David Wenzel. His office is in the Monadnock Building.”

I called and made an appointment. David was very kind and took our case. When Scott and Ron found out they sued David. But I never learned why. He said he could not represent me.

Our next lawyer was Charles Valente, who was recommended by a friend. The one request I made was that he was not to speak with Ron Boorstein. I learned Ron liked to brag about his children, and that could go on for hours, and he charged by the hour. Attorney Valente, was not for us. His parting words were “Hallee, in five years you won’t remember any of this.” He was so wrong.

While Charles Valente was acting as our attorney, Scott had me change banks. Our parents had been banking at Harris Bank for many years but he didn’t like Harris and told me to open accounts for our parents at Private Bank. After two years he decided Private Bank was going to close and we had to move their money to Wells Fargo. I was also charged with changing accounting firms two times. He commanded and I complied, he never came to the meetings to met the bank representatives nor the accounting firms we interviewed but had no problems calling them on the phone to try to have me removed as power of attorney.

Our next lawyer was Mitch Finberg. All I can say about Mitch was he knew how to charge. After five years of going to court every month, Ron told Mitch, Scott wanted to see all the paid checks I wrote to their law firm. They produced the checks. Ron, looked at them and asked if he could bring them to show Scott because he felt Scott would not believe him. Soon after Scott stopped his suit.

The morning our mother died, Scott was by her side, but he left not waiting for her to leave this world first. When the care giver called him as he was leaving the apartment to ask him to return to be with her for her final moments his reply was.

“Hallee, can take care of it.”

I rushed to be there, but she had already passed. At the funeral, he would not even come to the front of the room to sit with my family.

When our father died, his only comment to the Rabbi was;

“Tell Hallee, to stop telling people I am suing her.”

But he was suing me.

I learned he was sick. But I really did not believe it. He was always thinking he had the illness, he had just studied. I learned about his death through my mother’s girlfriend, Miriam “Hallee, why didn’t you tell me Scott died two months ago?”

I was in shock. His wife never put an obituary in the paper and I knew none of his friends. I also learned that she had no memorial service. She had him cremated at Weinstein Funeral home. I saw that she didn’t even use his full name on his death certificate because I received an email from our broker, she wanted her part of his inheritance.

She had to procure a death certificate. This is how I learned that he died on December 2nd, the same day two years later than our mother. Strange.

Scott, was indulged his entire life. Our mother, aunts and cousins really admired him and looked to him for guidance. Being a Doctor/Lawyer, good looking, tall, and an athletic was every Jewish women’s dream catch. Yet, the two woman who caught him were unethical and cruel. He must have possessed these qualities as well. An uncaring soul, totally out for his own gratification. He was given everything but in the end he was totally undeserving.

Now you may ask yourself, if you have been reading my blogs, “Why would a woman expose herself and her family like this?” Well, the definition of “A Cautionary Tale”, is a real-life example intended to warn the audience about a specific danger, bad behavior or risk.” I believe misery loves company. I know that I am not alone and I want to share my experiences to help someone else who’s struggling with similar issues. My brother was a bully and continually harassed me, but my parents refused to see it. They did not protect me. Which is why my next post is about how to prepare and deal with death.